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    The Best White Elephant Gift—EVER!

    White elephant party, yankee swap, tchotchke extravaganza—different names, one objective: bring the most useless, hysterical or wacky gift to pass on to some poor schmuck at your upcoming holiday party. But what if you changed the game? What if you brought a gift that is actually usable, hilarious and ensures the most steals of the night?

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    Worship the Temple: A History of Body Molding

    From Ancient Egyptian Pharaohs and Greek Heroes to Beethoven and groupies, the history of body molding is full of idolization.
    Death Masks
    Rooted in the idealization of the dead, ancient Egyptians believed in the preservation of the body through mummification. In order for the departed soul to return to its body, it needed to recognize itself, so the Egyptians created a mask of the deceased’s face. Though the early masks weren’t molded from the faces themselves—the mummification process preserved the features of the deceased—the masks were molded over the mummified faces and painted to the likeness of the deceased. In reality, the images painted were exaggerated features of the dead in order to elevate them to the level of gods. These masks, originally made from wood, were most commonly made from cartonnage; a linen or papyrus soaked in plaster and then molded on wood. For royalty, however, the death masks were created from gold or gold leaves on bronze and decorated with the semi-precious stone, lapis lazuli.

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    The Science of Sex: What Makes the Glow in the Dark Penis Kit Glow?

    penis kit glow

    Everyone here at Empire Labs agrees that the idea of making an exact silicone copy of any penis is really cool, but making a copy that glows in the dark? Even cooler! What exactly is it that makes your Glow in the Dark dildo glow, though?
    Your finished dildo will glow by a process known as zinc sulfide phosphorescence. Zinc sulfide (not to be confused with zinc sulfate, which has a very different molecular structure) is mixed with a precise concentration of a metal 'activator', which essentially allows it to store light energy. An easy way to think of how it works is to compare an activated zinc sulfide molecule to our solar system. The sun is its nucleus, consisting of positive charges (protons) and neutral charges (neutrons). The planets spinning around the sun are like the electrons, all in orbit around the nucleus. Light gets these electrons excited and causes them to take on energy. When the electrons become excited they move farther away from the nucleus into higher orbits. The electrons will remain in this excited state as long as they receive light to energize them. When the light source is removed, the electrons will slowly return to their original lower orbits. As they drop down, the energy that excited them in the first place is released in the form of light. This is known as zinc sulfide phosphorescence, and it's what makes your penis copy glow so brightly.
    You only have to expose your dildo to light for a few minutes to see it work, but more charging means more glowing, so you might wanna let it sit a while and charge. Depending on how long your dildo is exposed to light, this glow effect or 'light release' can take place over an hour or even more. 


    Whatever your definition of a highly unique sex toy might be, it likely won't even come close to a Glow in the Dark Clone-A-Willy Kit!