Cuffing Season noun. slang. the period of autumn and winter, when single people are considered likely to seek settled relationships rather than engage in casual affairs.
We all know it, our friends are getting cuffed up left and right. Posting pictures of their blossoming love. Cute winter holiday photos, engagements, blah blah blah...For those of us that stayed single this past cuffing season we know this as our lazy love time. We get in those cozy, staying in vibes and just start swiping to our hearts content. Rarely going out because of the rain, means all Winter and Fall, I was using my little black book (that’s what I named a contact folder in my phone full of my dick/pussy appointments). Calling all the lovely babes around at my leisure for the occasional love session; in a case or two the month long casual dating fling.
But as the flowers start blooming, it’s time to get that ass back out there, no longer confined to the Netflix and chill dates.
As soon as the sun hits I am ready to show off my body and thrive! There’s nothing like being out with friends on warm spring nights and getting hints of summer with sunny park days. This doesn't only mean more outdoor time, but increased sex drive too. We see each other more clearly in the sun, chests are bared, legs come out. In preparation for this inevitable experimentation phase, otherwise known as summer, there are a few things you can try to get yourself in the mood to love and be loved.
1. Set intentions for new dating experiences/ sexual experiences. There is no time like the present to sleep with that couple that’s been eyeing you at the bar, give your number to that hottie at the coffee shop, get out of your comfort zone…but in doing this remember conversation! Talk about sex more openly, express your limitations, desires, and get that consent. It’s the sexiest way to engage a new partner…
2. Prepare your body. This is the time to stock up on lube, sexy clothing items for in and out of bed, cleansing products for toys and your lovely parts, as well as being aware of substance intake. I know I tend to start drinking more in the warm weather, so in mind of that, I am careful of how much I'm drinking before bedtime. Too much alcohol means crap sleep, crap sleep means lower libido. It is also a good chance in this weather change up to reflect on how you are choosing to check in with your body. Recognize the things about yourself that make you feel good and calm, this will help you learn more confidence. It definitely translates to the bedroom.
3. Get tested. Even if you only had one partner all damn winter, take your cute little butt down to get tested before partaking in the summer fun! You owe it to your new partners to be sure you’re ready for some play.
4. Invest in learning more about sex. When I say this I mean sex with yourself and others. What fantasies do you have? Learn what it would mean to have a fantasy play out or set the wheels in motion to learn some new moves for the bedroom. Some of my favorite sex instagrams are @thefatsextherapist and @annodright. Also some good reads are : Come As You Are, by Emily Nagoski, Bonk by Mary Roach, Vacation Sex by Dorianne Laux, and How TO Think More About Sex by Alain de Botton.
Have fun as the sun starts kissing you, take time to play in authentic ways, push boundaries with your sexuality and don’t forget to love yourself!
Check me out on instagram: @bigbodymami or my website: bigbodymami.org