April might have left many of us feeling powerless, but our girl Six the Sextrologist has a fresh round of Hoescopes to help us all reclaim our power and manifest the sexiest May yet!
April showers bring May flowers, and it's important to remember that towers only fall to bring opportunities for stronger foundations. This quarantine period is difficult for me, I am facing boundaries and limitations when confronted with my community and friends. I am feeling a point of conflict, knowing that right now I do need support, but also accepting that there are some things out of my control. There're a lot of things that we find ourselves running away from, but sometimes liberation occurs when you finally run towards your hurt. I am not alone in this journey or emotional awakening, and it will only become more comfortable as I learn to express myself. Everything might feel as though it's falling apart, but low and behold, maybe it's falling together. May might be filled with uncertainties and unknowns, but I am still making time for love and pleasure. I am adorning myself with delicate fabrics and indulging in sensual and seductive scents. Social distance might lead to isolation, but I can, at the least, become physical with my favorite person (me).
Growth doesn't occur overnight until it does. As if I were a volcano bursting, exploding, and creating new land -- I am beginning to realize what happens when I allow myself rest. I am developing fixed and stable foundations, not only for myself but for those around me. I am passionate, detaching from joys that are better-left de-prioritizing. I am firm in my judgment, who else is to say who I am or who I will be, other than me? Through self-expressing and putting my foot down, I am reaping a lot of what is due from my labor. I am surprised by how my words are expanding my opportunities, and my possibilities are limitless after I commit tireless hours. Inside and outside the bedroom, I am asserting my desires and indulging in what's around me. I might spend a little something extra on toys that perk my interest, mainly because May might lead to some unexpected rewards worth "treating myself" over.
Learning can occur in a multitude of ways, so I welcome new lessons and graduations from various parts of my life. I am learning about myself a lot, and I am dedicated to stating my boundaries. As physical distance is encouraged, I am moved to grow and develop my mind through exposure to different doctrines and lessons. I am taking trips that will force me down paths I cannot un-walk, I am learning that my needs need not be unspoken. As May continues, so does my journey of healing. I am being thrown into a lesson about love and am immersed in the role of student and teacher. This duality is complicated and is forcing me to recap and recall flashes of members that I'd rather not re-explore. To ease my mind and process themes that might be challenging to process, I am allowing my imagination to wander. Masturbation might not solve all my problems, but during May, it could lead to some significant realizations.
I am bending, mending, and pending opportunities that will impact my legacy. The current times are challenging and limiting my freedom to create, but May will help me get a better understanding of why my perseverance is needed. This month has begun, and I am waking up, I am hungry and letting that same hunger lead me towards transformation. This month might lead to a very interesting "Sexting" experience, where I might find that the embrace of my sexuality will pay off in the end. There is a call towards higher knowledge and it's aiding me in understanding that there's so much that I do not yet know. I am letting curiosity be my guide and for google to be my friend. I am going to have a lot of time on my hands come May, which will enable me to research the sexually transcendent desires that are approaching my mind.
As I come into my truth and put in work, I can't help but appreciate the close relationships that are checking up on me. I am accustomed to attaching and detaching to those in my life. I like to think they understand, and it's never anything personal. I am focused on my work and I feel ready to take chances and potentially risk it all. The road is about to get rocky, nuanced, and possibly even blessed (in a roundabout way). I am moving with caution and working harder to maintain the connections in my life. In a way, to collect people for a reason, every relationship in my life serves some sort of communal purpose. As the month moves forward, I am becoming a little more critical of who I allow in my space. Pussy can be blinding, and quarantine Willys can be a happy distraction, but it's essential to start placing boundaries. On the plus side, now is the perfect time for me to have an honest conversation with my intimate partner(s). Now is not the time to be scared, but it is the time to speak my boundaries.
My career and legacy are taking an interesting turn, and I appreciate all the twists that got me here. This entire year felt as though it was forcing me to give birth to something, and I am beginning to feel the crown of my metaphorical child beginning to be exposed. I am finally reclaiming my life, and it's empowering to be able to cultivate and curator my community. In many ways, I feel free, even at the peak of such a life-changing moment in history. Life often feels like an earthquake that I am always in conflict with, but the new-found-islands are beginning to reveal themselves. I still feel at a loss regarding my close relationships and intimacy, but I feel as though a new chapter is preparing to take space in my life, and even though I am consumed with life, I am starting to find self-pleasure more attainable. Sometimes it's challenging to keep up with a regular sexual routine, but now the right time to direct my mind towards isolated pleasure. Developing an intimate relationship with myself only strengthens my ability to choose myself, even when I wish things could remain "fine,"
I am learning a lot right now. I am most comfortable living life according to my own doctrine because I believe that balance is achieved by merely aligning with harmony, which I don't always agree with means following the "natural" order of things. That being said, I do believe that I haven't been left with something I can not yet handle. The release of many close relationships in my life does feel uniquely difficult, however, all things come to an end, even if I try my hardest to keep them together. These hard lessons around self-love and tough love are grounded with purpose. I am adopting a belief that all that is happening is occurring for a reason. While I will miss the serendipities moments and the passionate adventures, I am becoming more critical of who I share myself with. There are certain lessons I'm learning, as well as realizations I'm coming to.
It's time to unpack the innermost vulnerable thoughts, it's time to unpack the lonely feeling, and it's time to go back "home." I had an unusual childhood, to say the least, there's something about it that stood out unconventionally. Because of the upbringing I had, there's a lot of skills that I acquired that will help me paint my legacy. For the past few months, the focus has been on my self-expression, which includes asking for what I desire. I am trusting the process and validating my desires. Whether they are vanilla requests for acts of service or kinky gift requests from a significant other, I am doing a better job of honoring my desires. I am speaking my needs loudly and proudly, accepting that if someone wants me that they'll need to accept all of me.
My day to day is becoming structured in a way that I never imagined it would be, and it might just be for the better. This past year has marked a period of evaluation and revaluation of my values and possessions. I have assessed what I want and desire, and have begun the separation process from all that no longer serves me. I am drastically changing and transforming, and social distance can't stop my ability to learn from myself and others. As I spend time in a unique form of self-isolation, I am taking note of the world that I curate for myself. I am taking note of the scents and sounds that surround my space, as well as the visual aesthetic and overall vibe. There's something sexy about cultivating my "loving place," and I hesitate to give up that ability to express myself through my home. There's no rush, even though I battle with patience constantly. I am evaluating my physical love den sweeping away the cobwebs and preparing for hot girl summer.
After so much transformation, I am beginning to realize that all my growth has left me with someone I may not recognize. I am taking a careful look at the person that I am, however, becoming comfortable with letting go of my old baggage. This month will teach me a lot about who I am, and I accept that sometimes healing requires working through the shadowy parts of my mind. While I may not have all the words needed to fully and honestly express myself, I am learning to be more gentle with myself, especially within my own home. With Venus retrograde occurring in my house of health, now may be the time for me to "swerve" on family distractions and love hazards. Exes of past flights might try to rear their head, but it is best for me to focus on welcoming relationships that better align me with my future. Sometimes swimming in the past will welcome back old versions of myself, so I am treading carefully.
When one door closes, another will inevitably reveal itself and open. I've had quite the year, and it's only May; at least I will be collecting my flowers. Both personally and professionally, I have been on quite a ride, and it truthfully doesn't feel like it's ending any time soon. I am feeling the weight of my responsibilities collecting before me, which is why I don't mind detaching from the people and situations that act as a distraction. I am finding my place within this "alternative reality," regardless of how temporary or permanent the effects of social distancing are. I love my community; therefore I am still finding ways to "plugin." While "cyber-sex" might not be my preferred reality, I'm giving time to online discussions about how people sexually align themselves. I am feeling experimental this month, but all actions require some level of contemplation. I have a lot of questions this month, many of which will only be discovered one "click" at a time.
A lot is going on in the world, and I am validating my need to sleep. There is nothing wrong with being exhausted, which is why I am valid in my exhaustion. Self-care is the most important mantra to memorize, especially now when it feels like the world is off its rocker. The synchronicities and coincidences between the material and physical world are alarming, and I am still confused and coming into clarity about myself. There's a lot of wounds that I am healing, many of which aren't exactly visible. Each month my cycle of arousal takes form in many shapes, and in May, it's taking shape as a big, bang. My mind is overflowing with fleeting desire, and I have a minute or two to follow and satisfy it. There's no better sleep aid than blowing off some steam, but good luck finding the energy to move from your bed afterward!