Illustrated GIF by Haley Powers

It happens to all of us at some point in our lives. The spark dims and suddenly your fiery love life or relationship feels like it’s lacking the intimacy you used to live for. Stress, burnout, and life’s demands can drain your desire.

So, let’s have a little reset. If your intimacy feels like it’s on pause, don’t panic. Here’s how to find your way back to that loving feeling! 🫶

Prioritize Self-Care

When burnout strikes, desire can feel miles away. The first thing that usually slips is self-care, but taking care of your own needs first is key. Start by getting enough sleep (at least 7 hours per night), eating well (whatever nourishes your body well), and moving your body in a way that’s fun for you. When you feel good physically, your mind and emotions follow, making you more present in your relationship.

Tip: Start with a simple daily check-in: 5 minutes tops. What’s your body and mind craving today? A walk? A call with a loved one? Your favorite comfort foods? Do you need to see some good art? When you give yourself the space to rest and recharge, you’ll have more to give.

Talk, Don’t Assume

Instead of wondering what’s going on in your partner’s head, ask. Being able to talk things through and as openly as possible is half the battle.

Tip: Create a safe, no-judgment space for honest conversations. Talk about how you and your partner(s) are feeling without blame.

Reconnect Through Touch

Obviously, intimacy doesn’t always have to be just about sex. Different kinds of physical touch, like holding hands, cuddling, or even a lingering hug can help restore your emotional connection. It’s like giving your nervous system a little reboot, helping to release some of that oxytocin and strengthen your bond(s).

Tip: Commit to a tough challenge. For one week, make an effort to touch your babe(s) daily in non-sexual ways like hugging, kissing, and holding hands. Sometimes, the smallest gestures make the biggest difference. 🖐️

Bring Back the Fun

When was the last time you did something just because it was fun? Dr. Esther Perel, a true genius in the relationship space, says that when we’re playful together, it creates excitement. A little spontaneity goes a long way, even if it’s as simple as changing up your usual routine. ✨

Tip: Plan something that breaks the mold of whatever you’ve been doing lately.

Don’t Forget About Yourself

Sometimes, the best way to improve your relationship is to nurture your own interests. Healthy partnerships thrive when both individuals feel fulfilled independently, so take some time to think about what that is for you.

Tip: Schedule solid me-time. Take up a hobby, go for a solo walk, or just chill on your own.

TLDR? Rekindling desire takes time and effort, but with the right mindset and small changes, it’s completely achievable. By focusing on self-care, communication, and playful connection, you’ll find that loving feeling again. 💗

Check out our shop if you’re looking to bring some new tools and fun into your relationship. We’ve designed these to bring folks closer, promote body positivity, and add a little spark to your life. Find us on Instagram for more fun content and giveaways! 🎁