Animated GIF by Audrey Malo

You’ve probably talked about turn-ons, fantasies, and safe words… but have you talked about credit card debt or how you really feel when the check comes?

Money talk doesn’t have to feel transactional. When approached with care and curiosity, it can be as tender as pillow talk and just as revealing. We’re all about starting financial conversations that have that potential!

Start with a soft opening

Pick a moment that feels low-stakes and safe, not right after rent is due. This could be over your favorite takeout, during a slow weekend morning, or even while taking a long walk.

Here are a few suggested prompts and talking points:

• “What did money feel like growing up for you?”

• “When do you feel the most in control of your money?”

• “When do you feel the most stressed by it?”

• “What’s something small that makes you feel rich?”

• “If we suddenly had $10,000 to use however we want, what would we do with it?”

• “What does feeling financially safe look like for you?”

• “What kind of support would help you feel more secure right now?”

It’s important to see these opportunities as invitations into your partner’s (or your own!) internal landscape.

Dream together

Create a shared vision board with what excites you most about the future:

• a cozy kitchen with plants in every corner?

• a trip to Japan?

• a Clone-A-Willy in every color of the rainbow?

You’d be surprised what shows up when money is seen as a support system and not as a shame trigger.

Reflect alone

Go somewhere comfy, open a notes app or journal, and reflect on these questions:

• What money habits have I inherited that I want to keep or leave behind?

• What kind of lifestyle am I craving right now?

• What would financial freedom actually look like in my life?

• Where does my relationship with money feel most tender?

• How do I tend to react when I’m feeling financially overwhelmed, and how do I wish others responded?

• What would “financial intimacy” feel like in my current relationship?

• How much does shared spending (or independence) matter to me in relationships

Check out these inclusive resources

These folks are doing the work to make money conversations feel less scary and more liberating:

• Chloe B. McKenzie: founder of BlackFem, transforming how we talk about wealth through the lens of race, gender, and healing
  
  

• Berna Anat: Berna makes money feel joyful and wildly human as “Your Financial Hype Woman” on TikTok and IG.
  
  

• Tori Dunlap: Tori and her team make an incredible resource for women and nonbinary folks looking to build wealth without compromising their values.
  
  

• Queer Money Podcast: financial strategies and stories from within the LGBTQ+ community
  

Being “rich” isn’t just about your bank account. It can also look like shared dinners made with love, a universe-worth of inside jokes, and the quiet confidence of building something honest with someone you love. You deserve a connection that honors pleasure, security, and possibility. That includes money talks too! 💗