You’ve probably heard about breathwork before from a yoga class, while scrolling through TikTok, or from that one friend who swore it changed everything for them.

If the term feels a little vague or woo woo (we know goop is often covering the topic), here’s all it is: using intentional breathing techniques to regulate your nervous system, heighten awareness, and connect deeper with your body!

Maybe you’re also wondering why we’re connecting breathwork with sex. The short answer is breath changes everything. It shifts how you feel, how you respond, and how present you can be with yourself or with someone else. When you’re trying to get out of your head and into sensation, breath is your most underrated, cost-free, and instantly available tool.

Let’s go deeper into the science and outline the actual techniques you can try right away.

The Science Behind It

When you’re anxious, distracted, or dissociating, pleasure gets harder to reach. 

Breathwork increases the amount of oxygen that the body and brain can access. Oxygenating the brain and body activates the “parasympathetic nervous system”, what sex educator and researcher Emily Nagoski, PhD, calls the “brake”. It slows your heart rate, reduces cortisol (your stress hormone), and increases oxytocin (your bonding hormone). That combination is incredible for building arousal, trust, and capacity for sensation.

Breathwork Techniques 

Below are accessible breathwork practices linked to specific outcomes, rooted in somatic sex education and body-based research. All can be done solo or with a partner!

Grounding before sex

Box Breathing, aka Four-Square Breath: for settling nerves, regulating anxiety, and reconnecting to your body before intimacy

• Inhale for 4 counts → hold for 4 → exhale for 4 → hold for 4. 

• Repeat for 3–5 minutes.

Building arousal

Stair-Step Breath: for building energy, activating sensation, feeling more in control of your arousal

• Inhale in 3 short sips through your nose (imagine climbing) → exhale one long sigh through the mouth. 

• Do this in rounds of 5.

Deepening orgasm

Pelvic Breath, aka Breathing into the Hips: for amplifying sensation in the pelvic floor and genitals, increasing muscle engagement and blood flow

• On each inhale, visualize the breath dropping into your pelvis. 

• On each exhale, soften the muscles around your hips. 

• Optional: Add movement or gentle squeezes of your pelvic floor.

For longer sessions and more stamina

Coherent Breathing: for regulating pace, avoiding premature orgasm or performance burnout, to balance heart rate and energy levels

• Inhale for 5 seconds → exhale for 5 seconds. 

• Repeat in a slow, steady rhythm for several minutes.

For aftercare or reconnection

Heart Coherence Breath: for connecting with a partner or self-soothing post-intimacy, encouraging oxytocin and emotional grounding

• Breathe slowly while placing a hand over your chest. 

• With each breath, think of something that makes you feel safe or seen. 

• Optional: Sync breath with a partner.

👂Feel like listening and trying a breathwork exercise instead? We recommend checking out Erika Lust's episode from the After Hours series:  Tantric Breathwork.

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