As you might expect, we get our share of strange and humorous emails at Clone-A-Willy. Here's a real email we received and some thoughts on it.

I got this email almost exactly a year ago. It isn't all that funny, but it's got some good wishes for the new year that I thought I would share.

Dear customer service representative,

My name is Jonathan, I live in Argentina, in the city of Buenos Aires, and I bought one of your products through an importer here in the city. I followed the steps, but, I had some trouble when mixing the powder with the water, you see, I thoght about sieveing the powder, but as the video showed there was no problem with grumes (lumps?) I didn't sieve anything. Now, because of the grumes I got, by the time I inserted my penis the mold was kind of hard, and I had to push strongly. The result is, I have an awesome dildo of a crushed twisted penis, with a lot of little holes and weird shapes on it, not smooth at all in most of its surface. So I was thinking, if I could get a second chance, and I can send you what I got, so you see the problems that can come up when not sieving the powder.

Yours faithfully,

Jonathan

I love this email from Jonathan. I love that he's so formal, "Dear customer service representative." I love that he considered sieving the powder (unnecessary, by the way). And I especially love that he doesn't seem too terribly upset by his "awesome dildo of a crushed twisted penis." I initially assumed there was a language barrier and what he meant to say was "awful dildo resembling a crushed and twisted penis," but I laughed at his use of the word awesome and was grateful he spoke English WAY better than I speak Spanish.

I told him what might have happened with the molding powder and that I would send him a replacement kit if he wanted to try again—no need to send us the awesome dildo of a crushed twisted penis. He thanked me profusely and that should have been the end of the story. Then I got this awesome email.

Hello Todd,

A few days ago I went to the mail (post?) office and got the clone a willy package. Thank you so much! I totally appreaciate it. Every company in the world needs a Todd, or a person like you, so willing to keep people happy and satisfied. I wish you the best for this new year and the rest of your existence.

Best regards,

Jonathan

I was having a truly awful day when I first read his email and it helped cheer my ass up. It still does. I was just doing my job and a complete stranger wished me the best for the rest of my existence. That's a nice thing to wish for people.

Thanks for the kindness, Jonathan. I wish you the best and I hope you end up with an awesome dildo.

That goes for everyone!

-Todd