Political Tribute in the Form of a Dildo
As you might expect, we get our share of strange and humorous emails at Clone-A-Willy. Here's a real email we received and some thoughts on it.
“Could I make one that is red, white, and blue to show my support for John McCain?"
We received this email in the fall of 2008 and I think of it every time an election rolls around. It warms my heart to think of someone so patriotic and I really hope this method of showing support for your candidate catches on—nothing would please me more than to see a bunch of dildos waving amongst the flags at political rallies.
I'm sure this question was a joke, but I took it as seriously as the act of voting itself, and replied appropriately.
There are two answers:
Answer one: No, it isn't possible because we do not sell red, white or blue Clone-A-Willy kits yet.
Answer two: Yes, it is possible to make a multicolored dildo and, yes, you can show your support by waving it at rallies. This is America. Land of the free. You can do almost anything you want. God bless us all.
Today I'll show you how to make a striped dildo using the Hot Pink and Neon Purple kits. Who knows, maybe one day there will be a democracy represented by a pink and purple flag and this idea will finally find the traction it deserves.
- BUY TWO KITS in the colors you want - pink and purple. You'll actually end up with two dildos, so your candidate should really feel your support.
- MAKE TWO MOLDS following the instructions included with the kits. (For the purposes of this post, I used a premade dildo and not my real penis to make the molds. If you REALLY want your candidate to know who's supporting him or her, you will need to use your actual penis.)
- MIX the hot pink silicone in one disposable cup and the neon purple in a second disposable cup.
- CHOOSE a color for the head of your dildo and pour about an inch of that silicone into the mold. In this case, I started with purple. The key here is to pour the silicone slowly and avoid getting any of it on the sides of the mold. Slow and clean pours will help make the stripes straighter and the distinction between the two colors clearer. Once you've poured a little of the purple, switch to the pink, repeating this process until you get about an inch from the top of the mold.
- CAREFULLY INSERT the vibrator following the instructions.
- REPEAT this entire process with the second mold and wait 24 hours for your patriotic dildos to be ready.
Short of voting, I don't think there's anything you can do to be more supportive of your candidate. And, if your guy loses on election day you can always send the winner a Clone-A-Willy kit and tell him to go fuck himself.
Holler if you have questions. We're always happy to help.
-Todd