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Oh, you haven’t heard? The newest classification of relationship culture has arrived and it was even listed as one of the top four words of 2023 by the Oxford University Press. Nestled at the top of the list, alongside 'Rizz' and 'Swiftie,' sits 'Situationship.' It’s defined as “a romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established.” 

But what does it mean in the real world? With the continued growth of online dating, the situationship takes its place in that murky in-between hookup, friends with bennies, and a full-on relationship. 

Some might rue this ambiguous stage; some might revel in it. Regardless, the term and concept are so in vogue that Smarties even rolled out their newest campaign unveiling their misprinted candy hearts, you know, as a metaphor for “mixed messages” and “blurred lines.” Genius.

Before we get into this list, I want to make sure it’s clear: As long as you and your situationship are happy with this arrangement — by all means! Many people find this an excellent and flexible form of dating and should be celebrated as such. However, the murkiness of boundaries and lack of communication that can sometimes accompany a situationship can leave some feeling unheard, unappreciated, and undervalued — which is never cool. 

So, are you in a situationship? Let’s find out.

1. You don’t talk about the future

You both are flying by the seat of your pants. Last-minute texts to meet up, spontaneous “date” ideas, and zero planning ahead. You never talk about things like “heading to the beach for the 4th of July” or holiday plans together because those things are more than a week ahead, and that’s just not your style.

2. You’re flakier than a baked biscuit

Your plans, when made, are far from sacred. You might send that “sorry something came up” text 45 minutes before your date, or even ghost them entirely, but you’re not afraid to cancel last minute on your situationship and visa versa.

3. You haven’t had “The Talk”

It’s sort of an unspoken agreement if you’ve been seeing each other for a while and haven’t communicated about a progression of your relationship that you inevitably have The Talk. You know, the one where you ask questions like “So what are we?” or “I’d like to see other people” or “Can we be exclusive?” — in a situationship you don’t even broach those questions because, truthfully, you’d rather not know.

4. You haven’t labeled what you are to each other

You are allergic to labels and even cringe at the idea of classifying this as a situationship. But you know you’re not in the one-and-done hookup territory, and you’re not quite friends with benefits. You might be in a huge life stage where dating someone longterm is just not an option. 

5. You don’t talk every day — or every week, for that matter

You can go days, weeks, hell, even months without texting and meeting up. Haven’t texted back? No biggie. Perhaps your situationship lives in another city, and you only meet up when they’re in town. That’s chill. A situationship is more about the present moment and convenience.

6. You keep your hobbies, friends, and personal details to yourself

Aside from name and occupation, you know little about your situationship’s life outside of your dates and hookups. You might gather little breadcrumbs that make up their life like that stacks of books that are on their nightstand, or that they are allergic to shellfish, or that they stock their fridge with enough bagged spinach to feed a platoon, but anything else? Anything more personal? You don’t really bother asking or sharing. 

7. You don’t post about them on your socials

You keep your situationship off your social media profiles and don't necessarily acknowledge their presence in your life on social media. You haven’t had a “soft launch,” let alone a “hard launch” yet, and you’re in no rush to do so. You might catch a glimpse of someone’s shadow at the edge of an Instagram story or their laugh in the background of a video, but other than that, they are but a ghost on your socials, and you like it that way!

While situationships can offer flexibility and excitement, it's vital to recognize whether they truly align with all party’s desires and expectations. Open communication and understanding each other's boundaries are essential for any successful relationship, whether it's a situationship or something more formal. 

Do you think you could be in a situationship? Do you enjoy this arrangement? Let us know!