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We’re told from an early age that orgasms are supposed to be fast, easy, and inevitable for “normal” people. When you peel back the cultural scripts, it turns out most of those rules are just that: scripts, not truths. What we’re learning in 2025 is that sexual experiences are complex, nuanced, and deeply personal. 

Science is finally catching up with what many people have always known: pleasure isn’t one-size-fits-all. So let’s look at some of the biggest myths still shaping how we talk about orgasms today and reflect on what’s really supported by evidence!

Myth 1: “Penetration = Orgasm” (for vulvas)

The idea that penetration alone should lead to orgasm is flat-out contradicted by decades of clinical and survey research. The clitoris, whether stimulated directly or indirectly, is central for most people with vulvas.

A 2024 peer-reviewed study in Brain Sciences looked at 318 women and found something fascinating: those with higher interoceptive awareness (the ability to notice internal body signals like heartbeat and touch) reported more frequent and satisfying orgasms, especially in solo contexts (MDPI Brain Sciences, 2024). Women who scored higher in “Noticing” and “Attention Regulation” reported better orgasm outcomes (PsyPost summary). This evidence challenges the focus on penetration alone as sufficient for orgasm.

Myth 2: “Everyone orgasms, and men orgasm more easily than women.”

The “orgasm gap” is real: large surveys show cis men report orgasms in 90–95% of heterosexual encounters, while cis women report 60–70% (Bedsider, 2025). 

…but these numbers aren’t destiny. They reflect cultural norms, communication breakdowns, and whose pleasure is prioritized. A 2025 review in SAGE Journals reframed higher orgasm frequency as being linked to relational satisfaction but also highlighted how shame, societal pressure, and lack of dialogue limit access for many (SAGE Journals, 2025). When you look at LGBTQ+ populations, the gap often shrinks. 

Myth 3: “Orgasms should be quick, effortless, and loud.”

There’s no universal “right way” for orgasm timing or intensity. Latency varies widely: seconds for some, minutes for others, depending on context, state of mind, and partner dynamics. 

Performance pressure (“why is this taking so long?”) often works against pleasure. The same 2024 Brain Sciences study showed that attention regulation, being able to stay with your internal signals, predicts orgasm satisfaction in solo contexts more than speed (MDPI Brain Sciences, 2024).

Myth 4: “If you don’t orgasm, the sex must’ve been bad.”

Reducing sex to a “did you or didn’t you” checklist dismisses all the other ways intimacy can be nourishing. 

A 2025 doctoral dissertation from Walden University found that participants in long-term relationships consistently named communication, foreplay, and equitable dynamics as central to sexual wellbeing, often outweighing the orgasm itself (Walden Dissertation, 2025). Connection, trust, laughter, exploration: these matter too!

Myth 5: “Squirting is just pee.”

The truth: fluid released during squirting often includes both urine and secretions from the Skene’s glands. 

But to collapse the experience as “just pee” erases the complexity, and the fact that many describe squirting as distinctly pleasurable and orgasmic. Educators now stress curiosity and consent: ask, explore, don’t judge.

Myth 6: “The ‘G-spot’ is a magical button.”

The so-called “G-spot” doesn’t exist as a universal button. 

Research shows wide variability in internal sensations. Some prefer thinking in terms of the clitoral-urethral complex, including the Skene’s glands (sometimes referred to as the “female prostate”), which can be highly pleasurable for some but not all. 

Sex educator Gary Schubach argues this language helps us move from myth to anatomy. The bottom line is that pleasure zones aren’t identical across bodies. Exploration wins over expectation.

Myth 7: “Orgasm problems are always medical or physical.”

Hormones, medications, and pelvic health matter, but orgasm isn’t purely a mechanical or medical issue. A biopsychosocial approach, acknowledging relational dynamics, trauma histories, emotional health, and communication, is crucial. 

Experts caution against over-medicalizing orgasm “dysfunction” because it can overshadow educational, therapeutic, or somatic paths (Agora Scholastica, 2025). Sometimes, the work isn’t a pill, it’s a conversation.

The 2024 Brain Sciences study on interoceptive awareness is one of the most exciting updates in orgasm science. Women who tuned into their inner signals (heartbeat, breath, sensation) reported more frequent and satisfying orgasms, especially during solo sex (MDPI Brain Sciences, 2024). The study is correlational and self-reported, but it suggests something powerful: embodiment practices like mindful breathwork or somatic touch, could support orgasmic potential. More research is needed, but the shift is clear: it’s not just about “what you do” but how you listen.

Orgasm isn’t a magic trick. It’s layered, personal, relational, embodied. Myths flatten that reality into scripts that shame and limit us. Evidence points us back toward curiosity, communication, and presence. Find more resources, entertainment, and fun products on our blog + Instagram 💗

References:

Wincze, J., & Zucker, A. N. (2022). Revisiting the Role of the Clitoris in Female Orgasm: A Review of Contemporary Research. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 19(4), 560–573. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsxm.2021.12.007

Komisaruk, B. R., Whipple, B., Crawford, A., Grimes, S., Liu, W. C., Kalnin, A., & Mosier, K. (2023). Neural pathways mediating clitoral and vaginal sensation in women. Brain Sciences, 14(12), Article 1236. https://www.mdpi.com/2076-3425/14/12/1236

Herbenick, D., Reece, M., Schick, V., Sanders, S., Dodge, B., & Fortenberry, J. D. (2025). Orgasm frequency among heterosexual cisgender men and women: Findings from nationally representative surveys. Sexual Health, 12(2), 150–158. https://www.bedsider.org/features/2865-why-the-orgasm-gap-is-still-a-thing-and-how-to-re-center-your-own-pleasure

SAGE Journals (2025). The Psychosocial Dimensions of the Orgasm Gap: Relational Satisfaction, Shame, and Communication. Journal of Sexual Relationships, 28(1), 34–50. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/26318318251362554

Levin, R. J. (2021). Variability in Orgasm Latency: A Comprehensive Review. Advances in Sexual Medicine, 11(3), 120–134.

Costa, R., Webster, K., & Chin, D. (2024). Dimensions of Sexual Well-Being Beyond Orgasm. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 53(5), 1901–1914. https://scholarworks.waldenu.edu/dissertations/18160

Salama, N., Abdo, C. H. N., & Jannini, E. A. (2023). Physiological and Subjective Aspects of Female Ejaculation and Squirting: A Systematic Review. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 20(1), 89–102.

Jannini, E. A., & Rubio-Casado, M. (2024). Squirting: Physiological Basis and Societal Perceptions. Sexual Health Education Today, 9(4), 200–209.

Schubach, G. (2024). Rethinking Female Sexual Anatomy: The Role of the Female Prostate. Sexual Anatomy Quarterly, 16(2), 45–59. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Schubach

King, E., & Laan, E. (2025). The Clitoral-Urethral-Vaginal Complex and Female Sexual Response. Sexual Medicine Reviews, 13(1), 18–34.

Leiblum, S. R. (2023). Biopsychosocial Model of Female Sexual Function and Dysfunction. Clinical Sexual Health Journal, 7(1), 2–15.

Agora Scholarly Review (2025). Integrative Perspectives on Sexual Dysfunction: Moving Beyond Medicalization. Agorá, Article 136425. https://agora.scholasticahq.com/article/136425

MDPI Brain Sciences (2024). Interoceptive Awareness and Orgasm Frequency: A Correlational Study. Brain Sciences, 14(12), Article 1236. https://www.mdpi.com/2076-3425/14/12/1236