With the exponential rise in Portland’s popularity, hundreds of guides have been written to cover the trendiest and tastiest places in the city. Known for our array of strange businesses and quirky citizens, there is plenty to see and fun to be had, so Clone-A-Willy jumped on the bandwagon and put together our own, naughtier guide to Portland.
Experience: Strip Clubs
Yes, we boast the most strip clubs per capita. Yes, the dancers get fully nude. And yes, they serve local booze in classic Portland fashion. Many Portlanders have differing opinions (quite strong ones, at that) on the best dancers, the best music, the best steak, and the overall best joint. We don’t think you’ll be disappointed wherever you go, but we're going to highlight four:
- Sassy’s The dancers are great. The music is fun. The drinks are cheap. The patio is decent. It’s centrally located. It’s always a party. It’s the best. Just go.
- Casa Diablo It’s a vegan club—seriously! Even the clothes the dancers take off can’t be made from animals. It gets crazy. Really crazy. I’ve seen women from the audience get their shirts taken off and sexual activities go down on stage. It’s a bit out of the way in terms of location, but it’s worth a visit. Take a cab.
- Devil’s Point This club has Stripparaoke! You sing karaoke and the fine ladies dance to you, on you, around you. See you on Sunday.
- Silverado It’s one of the few all-nude male strip clubs in the entire country, enough said!
Snack: Voodoo Doughnut
Don’t hate me. These doughnuteers are in every guide to Portland and I vowed to never include them in one, but what screams 'sexy' more than a doughnut in the shape of a penis? OK...lot’s of things, but come on! They have a penis-shaped doughnut! CREAM FILLED! It’s called the “Cock’N’Balls.” Go to the southeast location; it’s not as busy.
Learn: Underground Portland Tour
Corruption, sex, crimes, gambling, and crimping—Portland has a dark history. Take this tour through the Shanghai tunnels and other newly added locations to learn more about our sinful past.
Participate: Rocky Horror Picture Show @ Clinton St. Theater
The Clinton Street Cabaret hosts an interactive showing of the cult classic. Throw rice, toss rolls of Scott toilet paper, and light up the theater with flashlights. No nudity allowed, but there’s plenty of profanity and risky business to boot!
Explore: Club Sesso
The infamous Ron Jeremy opened this upscale swingers nightclub to our city in 2009. The club requires a membership, but allow entrance to the public for a hefty cover with strict rules. The people who attend are actually interested in a sexually diverse experience so don’t go to be creepy. And in case you forget, there are signs reminding you not to be creepy.
Shop: Adults Only
There are a plethora of sex toy stores spattered around the Portland-Metro area, but few have the curation and reputation of these two:
- She Bop Welcoming all genders and sexual orientations, this sex toy boutique promotes body safe toys and has a steady stream of educational workshops. It’s a very comfortable place for curious beginners and avid explorers alike. Plus, they sell Clone-A-Willy, so what’s not to love?!
- Spartacus From outfits and toys to leather and porn, the curated collection of goodies can make your fantasy a reality. They have something for everyone, but definitely stays in our mind as the go-to store for those into S&M, fetishes and leather.
If you’re lucky enough to be in the City of Roses during these times, check out the following events:
- Kink Fest An educational kink, BDSM and fetish conference.
- Hump! Film Festival Showcases amateur-produced porn.
What else should we be experiencing? Leave a comment!